Sometimes the simpliest answer is the best answer

I'm back! I've been running Jordyn back and forth to performances this weekend. She opened Thursday night, had a show Friday, two today, and she has her last one tomorrow. I got to actually watch the play all the way through this afternoon. Momma got Bucky, Brittany, and I tickets. Jordyn was so excited that Brittany came. We don't know have any family down here, so Jordyn didn't have swarms of people coming to the performances like other kids. Seeing her us light up today when she saw us in the audience made my day, and I know it made hers. She's such a sweet kid.

Lately I've been troubled. Dustin and I have been desperately trying to find jobs in Starkville to no avail. Every night before bed I've been feverishly praying for God to bless us with jobs. No matter how hard I prayed, the calls still didn't come. I realized that I've become angry and spiteful with God. I expected him to provide jobs for us simply because we've been putting in applications. Tonight, I read someone's blog, and I realized that God is probably angry with me as well. Here I am demanding he bless me, but what am I doing for him. Sure I pray every night and thank him for my family, friends, health, ect, but it's common place. I can't remember the last time I actually talked with God. I can't remember the last time I shared my love for him with someone. I've basically wondered off into some other dimension. I realized that I need to reconnect with God. I need to remember that he and I have an honest relationship where we can actually talk. I've been so robotic for so long. I feel shy in my attempts to reconnect, and I sometimes feel like I shouldn't bother him with my problems. There are people who have it so much worse than I do. Why should I bother him with trivialities. I'm kind of at a loss. I think I need to do some soul searching. Everything in my life is changing. I love the change, but at the same time it is scary. I just really think I need to find a quiet spot to meditate, cry, and connect with an old and faithful friend.